The Kommandant's Girl Collection by Pam Jenoff

Author:Pam Jenoff
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: MIRA Books
Published: 2018-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 15

“I heard the Kommandant leave,” Krysia says, stepping out onto the balcony a few minutes later. “What happened?”

I take a deep breath. “I sent him away.”

“I don’t understand…”

“I refused to accept his present and he left.” Briefly I explain to Krysia how I found the baroness’s note at work that day, finishing with the Kommandant’s explanation when I confronted him just a few minutes earlier. “I know that I shouldn’t care if he is seeing someone else,” I finish in a low voice. “I mean, this isn’t real.”

“But you do care.”

I look away, staring out into the darkness. “Yes.”

“You feel that you are being disrespected somehow,” she offers.

“Exactly!” I reply quickly. It is much easier to accept her explanation than the only other one: that I am hurt because I have feelings for the Kommandant. “But now I may have made him so angry that he won’t want to see me again. I won’t be able to get into his apartment again to get the information for Alek.”

Krysia shakes her head, taking a step closer to me. “I doubt it.” She draws her shawl closer around her shoulders. “For whatever it is worth, darling, I believe Richwalder’s feelings for you are legitimate. I can tell from the way he watches you. I don’t think he will give up so easily.”

I shift uncomfortably. “I suppose that does help the mission, his legitimately having feelings for me.”

“I suppose,” Krysia replies evenly. “Well, I’m exhausted. I am going to turn in. I hope you had a nice evening.”

Suddenly I remember the dinner party. She had tried, really tried, to make my birthday special, despite the circumstances. “It was lovely,” I say, hugging her. “Thank you so much for everything.”

When Krysia has gone back inside the house, I look up at the black, star-filled sky. On our honeymoon, Jacob had taught me to locate some of the more basic constellations. Orion, I think now, searching the darkness above. Jacob used to say that when he felt lost, he would find the three contiguous stars that formed Orion’s belt to center himself. But I cannot find it. Perhaps it is the wrong time of year. Giving up, I remember how as a child I used to wish on the evening star. Staring up at the sky, I pray that Jacob is all right and that he is thinking of me, too.

I sleep dreamlessly that night, and the next morning I awake early. Memories crash down upon me quickly of the night before and the Kommandant’s hurried departure. What have I done? I wonder. I roll over, pulling the blanket high over my ears. At least it is Saturday and I do not have to face him at work. I will sleep awhile longer, I decide. But a few seconds after I have closed my eyes again, I hear my door opening and low voices in the hallway. “Say happy birthday,” Krysia whispers.

“Birday!” Lukasz cries, running in and trying unsuccessfully to climb into my bed.

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